Not over-rated yet

Love is talked about all the time- in songs, movies, drunk conversations even sober ones. We hurt, cry, break our backs trying to please that special someone. But like the song they just become somebody you used to know. And although we know better we begin wallowing in self pity and loneliness.

The general public’s PDA sickens you or worse still makes you want it. Im no sceptic I love love and all the mushiness associated with it. What I don’t get is getting attached to someone so much so that they are part of your every waking thought. They become the sun and you feel consoled being Pluto now just a dwarf planet. You become a shell of what you used to be or a faint shadow of what you could be. We tend to hold on to ideas of perfect love or what the relationship used to be.

Its hard to grow a pair and just pull off that band-aid. You listen to all those well wishing friends telling you, you deserve better hell you yourself know you deserve better. But you are still nail-deep in that blood sucker of a relationship. Why are we such sadists the pain is so satisfying, we may not recognise the person in the mirror, but all that’s fine, cause I have someone to call my own.

We look for people to break us down sometimes we become the breakers. No matter what it takes we live with the toxins all so we won’t be ‘single’. My goodness what an embarrassment, is she a lesbian, maybe she is a bitch. Suppose it’s a choice dumbass suppose I’m happy being in love with myself. I don’t want to lose sight of who I am. We start questioning ourselves, am I too clingy, am I too pushy, am I too fat, am I good in bed, most times the answer to all or some of these is yes or you just become all these things to him. But so what, big deal I am all these things cause this is who I am you can’t deal with it then by all means don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Don’t get me wrong I have been in love and I still am. The thing is if you have been in a relationship it can take little or no time to turn bitter and those fond feelings and memories compel you to constantly be in a state of denial. Every demeaning line spoken is ignored, things he loved about you all this time, is now do something about he doesn’t like, or this is what my friends say about you and its so embarrassing. And sweetheart if the person you are with, becomes this sudden perfectionist, pack up and leave if there is no contract signed, run.

The next boy is out there if not, the ‘you’ of your dreams is waiting to be everything she can possibly be to you. Do things you did not have time for before, cause ‘he’ ate away all those hours, catch up on your reading, start a new hobby better yet start a blog to write about it.